Writing Your Own Funeral Service for a Loved One
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Writing Your Own Funeral Service for a Loved One

Hi, my name is Crystal, and I love tradition and ritual, but I also love novel things and creating something special just for one person. When my mum died a few years ago, I decided that I wanted to write her funeral service – not just my eulogy, but the whole service. I wanted to tie in traditional elements as well as Bible verses and poems that she loved, but I also wanted something that was just for her and her alone. I learned a lot through that experience. If you have lost a loved one, I extend you my sympathy. I know how that feels, and I want to help with the funeral service. This blog has ideas and tips for writing your own service as well as a range of other things. I hope it helps.


Writing Your Own Funeral Service for a Loved One

How to Plan a Memorial

Minea Pesola

Memorials are ceremonies held by the family of a deceased person to commemorate the life and times of the departed. The excerpt below provides a few tips on how to plan and execute a meaningful memorial for your loved one. 

Date and timing

A memorial service may be held before or after the burial, depending on your culture and family traditions. The date of the memorial service should be convenient for close friends and family. If you intend to hold the memorial before the burial, send invites as soon as your loved one passes. If you cannot find a convenient date a few days after the funeral, hold the memorial service during your loved one's anniversary. 


Below are a few tips to help you decide on an appropriate venue:

  • Places of worship such as churches would be an appropriate venue if the deceased was a religious person.
  • If your loved one was passionate about activities such as cycling, racing or mountain climbing, consider holding the ceremony in areas renown for such events.
  • The venue should have adequate parking and sanitation facilities.
  • If you intend to hold the service outdoors, conduct a weather forecast to avoid poor weather on the day of the memorial.
  • Some people indicate their last wishes in their will. Evaluate the deceased's will and check if he or she had any preferences regarding the venue of the memorial service.

Hire an event planner to help you determine flower arrangements, lighting and sound systems for the event. 


The memorial program should not be too long. Otherwise, the guests will lose interest in the proceedings. The master of ceremony should be someone who can lighten the sombre mood. Inform the guest speakers how much time they will have on stage. Ask them to prepare short notes to increase their coherence as they deliver their speeches. You can also ask them to observe a specific dress code. 


If you have sufficient funds, plan a small party after the memorial service. The party can be held at the memorial service venue, at a restaurant or at home of the deceased. This is an opportunity for guests to interact and condole the family of the departed. Preferably, engage a reputable caterer to provide the service. When choosing foods, consider people with allergies and long-term illnesses. Servers should be careful about the number of alcoholic drinks they serve guests since drunk incidences could ruin the memorial.

When planning a memorial service, choose an appropriate date, choose a venue, prepare the program and consider the post-memorial reception.