Hi, my name is Crystal, and I love tradition and ritual, but I also love novel things and creating something special just for one person. When my mum died a few years ago, I decided that I wanted to write her funeral service – not just my eulogy, but the whole service. I wanted to tie in traditional elements as well as Bible verses and poems that she loved, but I also wanted something that was just for her and her alone. I learned a lot through that experience. If you have lost a loved one, I extend you my sympathy. I know how that feels, and I want to help with the funeral service. This blog has ideas and tips for writing your own service as well as a range of other things. I hope it helps.
Planning a funeral is, for obvious reasons, often a remarkably difficult and stressful thing to have to do. It can seem like a huge and important undertaking, and it has to be dealt with as quickly as possible during what is already an incredibly taxing time. If you're going through this right now, here are five practical things you should bear in mind to help you through the experience.
Coffins are expensive, so don't feel you need to spend more money on a fancy one. Most people opt for the basic model, and there's usually no reason not to do just that.
Flowers might be traditional, but if they don't mean much to you or to your loved one there's no need to feel pressured into having them. It's become common to instead request a donation to a charitable organisation that was important to the deceased in the place of floral arrangements.
Remember that funerals are ultimately for the living. While it's important to most people to make sure they're respecting what their loved one wanted their funeral to be, don't beat yourself up about it if some of the finer details turn out to be too difficult, stressful or expensive to get exactly right. All that matters is that you give them the send off you feel you want to give them, and that you find solace and closure in the events of the day.
Don't let yourself feel overwhelmed and alone--ask for help! Funeral homes, churches, chapels, crematoriums, cemeteries and pubs alike all have plenty of funeral experience, and the people who run them will usually be only too happy to do anything they can to make the planning process easier on you. Rely on their expertise as much as you can, and you'll find that everything works out far more smoothly in the end.
Ignore as many traditions as you like, and keep only the ones that you feel are fitting and appropriate. If the deceased hated black, don't feel pressured into asking people to wear black. If they had a favourite song that was jollier and more upbeat than is usual at a funeral, include it if you feel that they would want you to. This is their funeral, not anyone else's, and all that matters is that you do what's right for you and your family.
No matter what else you decide to do, finding the right funeral home is vital. It's okay to meet with more than one before making your decision: your loved one's funeral needs to be right for both them and you, so take your time and don't let anyone upsell you or pressure you into making a decision too quickly. Contact a local funeral home today to ask for some advice and get the process under way.