Writing Your Own Funeral Service for a Loved One
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Writing Your Own Funeral Service for a Loved One

Hi, my name is Crystal, and I love tradition and ritual, but I also love novel things and creating something special just for one person. When my mum died a few years ago, I decided that I wanted to write her funeral service – not just my eulogy, but the whole service. I wanted to tie in traditional elements as well as Bible verses and poems that she loved, but I also wanted something that was just for her and her alone. I learned a lot through that experience. If you have lost a loved one, I extend you my sympathy. I know how that feels, and I want to help with the funeral service. This blog has ideas and tips for writing your own service as well as a range of other things. I hope it helps.


Writing Your Own Funeral Service for a Loved One

Two types of funeral services you may need to request for a very small funeral

Minea Pesola

If you are having a very small funeral for someone who has passed away, here are a couple of specific funeral services you may need to request from the funeral home.

A pallbearer service

In this situation, it's likely that you will need to make use of the funeral home's pallbearer service. At a large funeral, there will usually be at least a few people in attendance who are both strong enough to carry the coffin and who will not be so distressed by the deceased's passing that they feel emotionally unable to do this task.

However, if there will only be, for example, five people at the funeral and neither you nor these other people are strong, then you might need a few of the funeral home's physically-fit employees to act as pallbearers. Likewise, if the few people who will be in attendance are devastated by this death and would find the experience of handling the coffin very upsetting, then it might be necessary for the funeral home employees to do this instead.

It's important to determine if you need to use this service when you first contact the funeral director, as they will need to assign at least another four employees to the funeral (or more, if the deceased was particularly tall or heavy) so that they are available to carry the coffin. If you don't give them notice, they may struggle to find enough staff members who are available on the date they are needed.

The provision of a private or significantly smaller funeral service room

You may also need to request a private or much smaller funeral service room. For example, if you are deliberately having a small funeral and do not wish anyone who wasn't a good friend or immediate family member of the deceased to be at it, then you may need to book a room in the funeral home that can be locked or at least closed during the service so that no uninvited guests can walk in.

Conversely, if the funeral will be very small purely because the deceased had a tiny social circle, then you may need to ask for a compact room in the funeral home. Having a funeral where there are, for example, only seven guests, in a room that is designed to accommodate dozens of people, could be quite unpleasant. If the funeral service takes place in a large, echoing room, where there are rows and rows of empty seats and just a few paltry flowers displayed around the large altar, it may simply magnify the fact that so few people wanted to come to the deceased's funeral.

For more help, reach out to a professional who provides funeral services